Review - Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp

Published 2nd January 2018 by Sorcebooks Fire

Star Rating - ****

Goodreads Challenge - 2/50

Diversity Bingo - Main Character with an Invisible Disability

I received an ARC of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. 

Synopsis (from Goodreads)

Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. When Corey moves away, she makes Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return.

Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated―and confused. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones about the town's lost daughter, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger.

Corey knows something is wrong. With every hour, her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets―chilling secrets. But piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter...

My Thoughts

  

Oh my goodness this book...I don't know how to describe it, it gave me all the feels. It made me so angry I just wanted to hit something, there were times when I sat there, physically gobsmacked, I don't think I've every read a book like it. This book covered a lot of important topics. There's a trigger warning for suicide, one of the main characters suffers from bipolar disorder so this book looks at mental illness. We also have some LGBTQIA+ rep in the form of an asexual character, a pansexual character and gay characters. So as you can tell this book sounds like its going to be important and hard hitting and too me it really was.

I was hooked from the first page. The writing was fantastic it was compelling and very atmospheric. The chapters were short which kept me going and the inclusion of different forms of media including script like passages and telephone calls kept me engaged. I also like that the author included the flashbacks, this helped to flesh out the story and understand what was happening. The rural Alaskan setting also made this story really atmospheric that coupled with the, what I can only describe as, 'cult' like members of the community made this story both thrilling and creepy. Marieke's writing was also very emotive. Corey was experiencing a barrage of emotions throughout this book and you could really feel them coming off the page. She experiences grief, anger, confusion, hurt and guilt along with other things and I felt all of these emotions right along with her. It takes some good writing skills to get me to do that and I really admire Marieke for it. There were times in this, as I said before, that I was physically gobsmacked with the way the community of Lost were treating Kyra. Marieke did a good job of writing Kyra as a character in her own right and not just as a vessel for her illness but my god the way she was treated made me angry. I would assume this was Marieke's intention and it definitely worked.

After I finished this I wasn't really sure what to think. I knew I enjoyed the book as a whole and that it was a compelling and atmospheric read but I struggled to put my thoughts together. As a result I read some of the reviews and lots of people criticized the development of the characters but to me that wasn't an issue. This got me thinking about the novel as a whole and really it isn't a highly plot driven story. It was more of an exploration of an event with a large focus on the feelings of others and dealing with grief and emotions and I think this was done very well. Throughout the story there are elements of the unusual and not all of these were wrapped up in the end. Overall I think I was okay with that but I suppose it could of been wrapped up better.

Overall I really enjoyed this book. I loved the writing style, I don't think I've ever read anything like it. It made me feel all sorts of emotions and I admire the author for being able to do that. It was a highly compelling and extremely atmospheric read that I would recommend. I'm looking forward to picking up Marieke's other novel.  

Overall Rating